4 days in Seminyak – My Brutally Honest Perspective

Spoiler alert: I thought Seminyak was only ok.

But that’s compared to the rest of Bali. If you just want to lie in a villa, read a good book and get room service it’s absolutely perfect. But that’s not me. You’ll have to read on to see the whole story.

And to read about the things I enjoyed doing in Bali more, check out my Indonesia archives.

Day 0 – Arrival in Seminyak

The morning we were to leave Ubud I still hadn’t found a driver. Not because there’s a shortage in Ubud (trust me, there is not), but apparently there is a shortage of drivers who will drive us there for less than 350k. I eventually settled and booked one in

The trip was pretty straightforward, though it still astounds me that not only is there nothing that even resembles a highway (or at least major thoroughfare) between major centres, but the roads that we did take were choked and slow the whole way anyway. It never felt like we left the city because there were shops, houses, people, schools, etc the whole way. We got in about 1:45, making the trip probably around an hour and a half.

We stayed at the Jas Villas, just back from the main drag JL Kayu Ayu. Our two bedroom villa was nice, if a little smaller than we had gotten used to. But we all fit and we had our own pool, and those are the important things. Oh and a day bed helps too; I’d become accustomed to those.

[Sidebar, we had half a day in a single bedroom the day we checked out and the pool area was honestly not much larger than the pool itself with high walls and only enough room for a single deck chair. Probably went a little extreme on the space-saving front. Not bad for the price though, I’ll say that, it was very good value.]

My friends stayed at Uma Sapna, which is not far and it was very nice. Large outdoor space, spacious bathroom located behind the bed. Spacious interior, all which was oozing luxury. And it was only about $220 a night. Very affordable for what it was. And breakfast at the attached cafe was included. If your budget can stretch it I’d highly recommend.

We checked in, got settled and headed out for a late lunch. Kynie had seen on the way in a cool place called the Bistrot. All we knew is that it looked vintagey and French.  What we didn’t expect is that it would be an epic gourmet burger joint. The beef burger I had was absolutely off the charts. Perfectly cooked patty cooked medium, juices oozing out at every opportunity. Sautéed onion and tomato with dripping cheese and some token lettuce. Not a dirty burg, just delicious, with a healthy serving of chips on the side.

Lunch was late and afterwards we just spent some time getting to know the villa. Around 6 we organized some dinner for Brooklyn and headed out to have dinner with our friends, the Waypeople. They took us to TAMADE, a small indo-Chinese restaurant with a simple menu, perfectly fusing the two cuisines. We shared Nasi Goreng, Mie Goreng, sweet and sour pork and some chicken tenders and it was all sensational. The Mie Goreng in particular was one of the best I’ve had and the pork was good because it wasn’t heavily battered like it is in the Chinese shops back home. 10/10 would bang again.

We wandered back towards the villa via a gelato shop. The good thing about Seminyak (and Ubud for that matter) is you’re never too far from gelato. We got a roadie beer from a Mini Mart and finished them at our villa. Kynie even had a Bintang Radler, which basically tastes like lemon soda. But I was still a proud husband. I had another terrible beer not worth mentioning.

Here’s the thing about Seminyak yo: if you love dining with other Australians in restaurants and bars owned by Australians serving Australian food, and you want it (only) slightly cheaper than at home, then you’ll love Seminyak. Basically, if you want to holiday in a different country without those pesky culture differences, then it’s the spot for you.

Personally, I have loved being served Indonesian food by a couple of Indonesians in a warung that was largely empty and paying only a few bucks for the pleasure. All that seems long gone in Seminyak. High profile chefs have replaced mom and pop, and smashed avo has replaced the humble Mie Goreng.

Seminyak isn’t bad, although I know my tone might suggest otherwise, but you need to know what to expect. And if you’re looking for cultural attractions, (or let’s be honest, any attractions), or any semblance of Indonesian life, then either pick a different part of Bali or Indonesia altogether.

Day 1

Our first full day in Seminyak began in the Jas Villa restaurant, courtesy of free breakfast. Not sure we would dine there otherwise. It was fine, but not a real inspiring menu, a theme I’m noticing from our hotel breakfasts. I had a banana pancake which has become a failsafe for me.

Since the coffee was almost non-existent at the restaurant we made a beeline for revolver espresso, one of the best joints for coffee in Seminyak. The cafe has a real gun fetish going on. For example, the juices were all named after known killers or assassins (OJ Simpson, Lee Harvey Oswald, etc). We bought Brooklyn a shirt from their tiny store upstairs and some beans for our cold brew back home.

Bear was most unhappy (language has been cleaned up substantially here) so we went back to the villa where he immediately came around and played beautifully with his books and toys. Grrrrr.

It didn’t take long for lunch to roll around and we asked the Waypeople if they’d join us at Sisterfields. They were on their way there too so we went together. It was a hot walk in the sun, and the 15-minute wait for a table was hot too. This is something we have become unaccustomed to in Bali. We are quite used to having the whole place to ourselves.

The food was good and the smoothie I had was phenomenal (choco banana or something). The food was really good by Australian standards and expensive by Balinese standards (ie probably normal to slightly cheaper by Aussie prices).

We headed back for a swim and when Bear fell asleep I went for a wander down to the flea market. The flea market was actually much smaller than I expected. There were only 4 rows of stalls by probably 8-9 long. 40 odd may still sound like a lot but I walked around it while stopping to look at stuff in under 10 minutes. Actually, I did two laps because I wanted to scope it out first.

The market was actually surprisingly quiet. On the one hand it was good that it wasn’t bustling because that would have meant I got over it quicker. But the downside was that I definitely felt like I had all eyes on me, making it difficult to look discreetly without being bothered.

I bought Bear a Hawaiian shirt and there was actually no one at the shop to bargain with me. Another seller had to come and make the sale on their friend’s behalf because there was a big meeting going on. I couldn’t help but wonder what they’d be talking about.

I had a first today at the market. I’ve walked away from many negotiations at a market because I didn’t want to pay the price they were asking or their original price was just absurd. But never have I had a vendor walk away on me because my opening offer was absurd. I was inquiring on a Spurs jersey. He opened at 350, I laughed and came up with 50k opening bid and he just said “thank you” and walked back to his post. Suited me fine because I wasn’t going much higher.

I came back for a swim and Bear’s croupe cough still wasn’t real good, so the three of us found a pharmacy. Actually 2 pharmacies. The second one had a doctor who prescribed some antibiotics and some cough medicine. The consultation was only 150k ($15) which is so cheap compared to the $80 back home. Dinner was a non-event but I still wanted to go out so after the kids went to bed I went for a walk about 9 pm and found some dinner at Fat Buddha’s, featuring an assortment of Asian Street food. Really cool idea but I didn’t love my beef rendang.

Day 2

Overnight, Bear woke up coughing and with a fever, and he needed a bath to cool down. He and Daisy ended up sleeping in our bed to help protect Daisy from mosquitos.

Needless to say, an early coffee run was required which the in-laws happily went on. Revolver to the rescue! They also picked Kynie up a shirt, which was too big, so it will become mine. Double win!

Our tired selves ordered breakfast delivery then swam and read at the villa. A very cruisey morning indeed.

For lunch, Kynie and I walked down to Bo$$man burgers, attached to and owned by Sisterfields. The burgers were completely epic. Kynie had the original gangster and I had an Al Capone, and by George, I could have gone another. Not because it was small — hell no I was stuffed — but I would have looked past that to get another go at that juicy, fatty, saucey, sexy, pattie.

For more ideas on what to do in Seminyak, check out this post.

I left Kynie behind because she was keen to get stuck into her book by the pool, and I jumped on the scooter and went on an adventure.

The ‘adventure’ started pretty modestly, at Pura Petitenget. Pura Petitenget is one of the attractions that will pop up on just about every ‘thing to do’ list for Seminyak. There is a simple reason for this: it’s the only cultural attraction in Seminyak. Every other suggestion is bars at which to party, day clubs at which to relax, food spots at which to eat, day trips you should do (which in my opinion doesn’t really count, for obvious reasons). Suffice it to say that after paying my 5000rp parking fee then 50,000rp entry fee I was left most underwhelmed.

Sure, it’s an active temple, and it has some significance to the Balinese as one of the string of coastal temples along the southern Bali coastline, but as a visitor, there is not a lot to look at, but half of it is also closed off to visitors. I dunno, I try to make a point of understanding the local culture but it’s just been fairly hard in Bali. It seemed like a gross waste of my time and money.

Anyway, so after my 10-minute tour of Petitenget, I jumped back on my scooter and, in the hot, humid sun I rode westward toward Tanah Lot. This was the real adventure.

The sun was hot and the roads were thick with riders, but the traffic moved as one unit and but for a few traffic lights, it was all pretty seamless. The signage out to Tanah Lot was also surprisingly good. I parked, paid, and mosied on past the absurd number of market stalls on the way to the temple and was thoroughly impressed with the ingenuity of the temple. Tanah Lot is built upon a rock island 50 metres from the shore and is only accessible at low tide. I suppose it’s accessible by boat at high tide. Nonetheless, it is completely surrounded by the ocean at high tide.

I took my time and enjoyed people watching as much as temple watching since the temple is for worshippers only.

After riding for much of the afternoon in the hot sun I was thoroughly pooped and ready to collapse into the pool and never wake up. However, instead of the not waking up part, I decided to go out for dinner instead. The selected option was Happy Chappy Chinese Restaurant and the decision was well received by all in the group. We selected a perfect collection of dumplings and other Chinese finger food and were perfectly satisfied.

Well, as satisfied as is possible without filling that deep dark hole that we all have with gelato. Mad Pops along JL Kayu Ayu filled that spot with the coconut gelato and we headed back to the villa for a nightcap bought from a Circle K.

Day 3

Last night was similar to the previous with a sick boy waking up unwell throughout the night so a run to Revolver was in order. Seriously, these guys do the best coffee. So good in fact that we bought some beans home to continue enjoying their cold brew at home.

When both kids were settled in the villas with the grandparents Kynie and I set out for some breakfast. We didn’t really have a place in mind but not far down the road was The Library. This either sounded like a really boring, educational, or hip place to eat and thankfully it was the latter. It was a small place but the ceiling was real high and they had this great wall feature made of books.

The good thing about there not being that much to do in Seminyak is that it gives a perfect excuse to laze about in the villa, catching up on reading, soaking up the sun, and escaping the humidity in the pool.

Around lunchtime, when most were napping, Kynie and I slipped out on the scooter and set our compass to Canggu. This was our last full day in Bali and therefore our last chance to explore a little further abroad.

As I entered on Canggu on the scooter I was slowly hit with an atmosphere of calmness and relaxation. Sure, you can relax in your own villa in Seminyak, but once you step out that’s impossible. The roads in Canggu were quieter, the restos more disparate, and it was distinctly apparent that West hadn’t nearly encroached on the local’s turf as much as its southeastern cousins in Seminyak.

We rode down to the water and had lunch at Old Man’s, which seemed like a Canggu institution. Old Man’s is a large, casual, open air restaurant and club with a high, pointed roof and colourful, hand painted walls. In high season and at night’s this place will get busy with a lazy party atmosphere. On our day though, which was during the afternoon in shoulder season, it was fairly quiet. We had a juice, a beer, and a burger and some gelato and headed over to Shady Shack, which was about 5 minutes back up the road.

Also, I realise the irony of my comment regarding the West’s (or more likely, Australians’) impact, and in the next sentence enjoying a place that in clearly run by a foreigner, but it’s still less obvious as a whole.

Shady Shack is a vegan’s delight. I didn’t realise this beforehand (because otherwise knowing this would probably be a dealbreaker out of principle) but I was actually pleasantly surprised. Being still pretty full from Old Man’s we just had drinks. I had this delicious chocolate smoothie and a coffee on the side and Kynie had a berry smoothie.

The ride back was as fun as ever, however, I did have to be a bit more defensive as I now had (not quite) double the weight on the very light scooter. Zipping in out of traffic was not only marginally more difficult but also, if I made a mistake, it was always going to be Kynie coming off first and I didn’t particularly want that to happen.

On the way back I noticed that our petrol light was on. Knowing how stop-start the journey can be and how fuel intensive this is I decided we should stop for some petrol. Thankfully, there are “petrol stations” everywhere. Just look for the small stands out the front of people’s houses and shops with the blue and yellow bottles. I pulled over, opened the seat and a friendly Balinese woman came out and emptied one of the blue 1-litre bottles into it for 10,000 rupiah (about $1). This gave us about a third of a tank. The whole thing looks completely dodgy but I’m happy to report that the bike made it home safely.

Upon arriving home we found an even sicker boy than we had this morning. He hadn’t improved, was vomiting, lethargic and had high temps. We figured this had gone on long enough we caught a taxi out to the BIMC in Kuta, which was a hospital that was run by Australians for tourists. Nothing against Indonesians’ and their healthcare system, but we figured the system would at least familiar and they’d definitely speak English.

Thankfully we were only in the hospital for about an hour an half. They saw him pretty quickly, gave him a needle with some stuff for croupe, and took an x-ray of his chest before sending us on our way with a prescription for yet more drugs. The most impressive part, however, was how much it cost. Usually you would expect to pay through the nose for a hospital visit in a foreign country (Australia especially), but for a consultation, a needle, and an x-ray it cost a mere $110.

We got home about 8:30 and once he was settled in bed I needed some dinner. This was my last chance to have me some mie goreng. I’d fallen in love that that spicy, noodley goodness in the last 2 weeks and my opportunities for eating more of it were running slim. I got on the scooter and stopped at the first place I saw that looked like a local warung. Because every Indonesian warung has mie goreng. Thankfully for me, I didn’t even have to leave the alleyways because down the end (near Uma Sapna resort) was a restaurant with a bunch of locals hanging out and what looked to be a small kitchen. I was in luck. I pulled over, barely needed to look at a menu and asked for special mie goreng for a grand total of 22k rupiah (about $2.20). When asked if I want it spicy, I said yes, much to the detriment of my tastebuds and body as a whole.

I like to try things spicy but only up to a point. On the scale of mild to world’s worst chilli I think I can go up to about a 5, maybe 4. This burnt my damn mouth off to a point that I couldn’t even taste the Anker Stout or the Bintang that had accompanied it. I still enjoyed it… and continued to enjoy the spice for about the next hour.

Day 4

Another slow morning at the villa preceded by more Revolver coffee, this time with additional cold brews.

Our final sit down meal was back at the Bistrot, the French-named, vintage-themed burger joint. Confusing themes aside, their burgers were second to none, probably anywhere I’ve ever been, so it deserved a second sitting. I even got the same burger because I knew 10/10 of the burger scale was going to risky to try and top.

After lunch I went shopping, to try and fill up my suitcase with as much cheap shit as possible before our flight that night. I was only somewhat successful, buying a mere 2 shirts and one pair of sunglasses. I was also marched out of 2 shops for completely low balling them on counter offers again. I was offended but not offended enough to not laugh while being sent out. It just amazes me that they can’t see the irony.

After finally buying my shirts after multiple attempts (I actually had to cede a couple of dollars to get someone to sell to me) I then got a haircut at barber next to Mal.FUNK.tion Bar. It was pretty sharp if I do say so myself. The chop and a beer it was 12k rupiah.

After packing up our things, we ordered a cab and I called the restaurant to make me one more bowl of mie goreng – “to go, please”. So in the back of a dark taxi, out of a styrofoam container, I ate my last mie goreng in Indonesia. What a fitting way to say goodbye.

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