We’ve all been there: in the airport, ready to relax and begin our vacation. We’ve got our coffee, our book is out, headphones are in and it’s all going to plan. That is, until other people happen. They are everywhere, inconsiderate and self-absorbed because theirs is the only holiday that is important.
I thought it would be funny to point out these people so we can all have a laugh at their expense to lighten the mood for next time we’re in an airport. I was right: it was funny.
Just don’t laugh too hard because chances are good that you (and I) are one of these people as well.
The Town Crier
There’s a good chance I’ve been that guy before but it still goes on the list: that person at the gate (or the plane before the seatbelt sign is on) that is having a 50-way conversation between himself, the person on the other end of the phone, and everyone else at gate 43.
Don’t get me wrong, talk on your phone as much as you want, just use your inside voice. No one wants to hear about the kid you might be adopting or your mum’s persistent rash.
The Power Monopolist
Airports are getting better at providing power points, but they are still in generally limited supply and high demand. What a perfect opportunity for me to plug in all 8 of my devices that all need to be topped up from 95% to 100% before the plane!
Meanwhile, the rest of the plane sits back, quietly seething, their gears grinding as that angry, yet quiet Snapchat is sent, depleting the last of their phone battery.
I mean sure, if this is the middle of your journey and you depleted a lot of battery on the previous flight then yes, you might want to charge some things. But have a bit of forethought and consideration. Rather than plug in everything to individual power outlets, pack a power board, or just plug USB’s into your laptop.
The Gate Lounge Coloniser
How about the person who gets to the gate early and sets up camp ensuring that they have the most room possible? They place as many bags and items on as many chairs as possible to make it seem that he is “minding” them for the entire population of Tasmania.
Come on mate, who are you fooling? You don’t have that many friends.
The Neck Pillow
Yes, those people that are so afraid of falling asleep wherever they are, they feel it’s best to take precautions to ensure they don’t break their neck in the event of spontaneous slumber.
Obviously, that’s not the real reason, but do you need that many things in your carry on that the neck pillow won’t fit? Or can it not be tied on?
I mean, this one doesn’t annoy me in the slightest, but it is a bit of a facepalm moment. These people are up there with the people that wield iPads at the Pyramids of Egypt in place of a camera.
I know it’s an airport, but you look ridiculous.
The Over-packer
This one gets me every time. These people are just simply not following the airline rules. You see them walking through the airport, then the aisle of the plane, backpack on, shopping bag in one hand, wheelie bag in tow.
There is no way that carry on is under 10 kilos and constitutes “1 bag plus personal item”. I’ve even seen some people with large wheelie bags trying to cram them into overhead compartments. What are you thinking? And who is letting you on with that?
If it didn’t impact those around them I wouldn’t bother wasting any thought processes on them. But when I get on the plane and there’s no room overhead so my bag has to go elsewhere: not okay. Stop being a tightarse and check something if you have that many pairs of underwear to take.
When I visited Indonesia there was a flight where we actually had to be that group. We weren’t able to take our suitcases because we were going onto a phinisi boat where space would be limited. So we had to pack enough for 4 days as well as all our camera gear into carry on. And for most of us travel bloggers and photographers… that’s quite a bit of gear.
Here’s Phoebe of Little Grey Box with all her gear, looking really pleased about it.
The Lazy Bones
This is a pet peeve of mine in general, but especially at airports: who are these people that see a travelator (or moving walkway) and think “Oh good, it’s going to move me automatically so now I don’t have to put in any effort”.
NO!
This should speed up your ability to get from one place to another, otherwise, standing still will actually slow you down because while they are quick, they aren’t that quick.
And besides, ever watched yourself walk down the moving walkway in reflective glass? It looks very otherworldly as you move much faster than the steps you are taking should allow.
Ok if you are old or somehow mobility impaired, I get it, have a rest that’s fine. But everyone else who is able-bodied, stop being so lazy. Or at the very, very least…move over to the left!
Cheapflights actually did a bunch of research into the airport behaviour of Aussies. After reading it, I was really surprised at how much we spend in airports while waiting. Mainly because I barely spend anything except for maybe a coffee or beer, depending on the time of day.
I’m sure I’ve pissed some people off with this article (and probably in an airport too) but that’s fine, I’ll survive.
So what do you think? Who are the people that grind your gears in the airport? I’m sure I haven’t even scratched the surface here so I’d love to know your thoughts as well. Leave me a comment below.
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